3 Lonely Months Later...

When you were a kid did you treat your stuffed animals like they had feelings? Not all the time, of course, but every once in a while did you catch a glimpse of some forgotten doll with its head smashed underneath a box of legos or your favorite oversized white tiger carelessly tangled in a set of dress-up beads with one sad little paw poking up above the rim of the toy box, and you swear you heard a faint "help me..." that made you focus on it just a few seconds longer? No? Oh, ahem. Well, how very mentally developed you were as a child then.

I did.

And I know you did too, don't be a twit.

Ha, twit. That's a funny word.

On those occasions when I saw my toys in a state of neglect or distress, particularly and probably exclusively the ones that had faces...I don't think I was so concerned with the emotional well being of my Lincoln Logs, I would TRY to ignore the impulse to soothe their feelings and put them in a more comfortable position, but I just couldn't. Maybe it was the first inclining of a maternal instinct, maybe it was mere delusion, maybe a childlike insistence to hang on to the last vestige of belief that my toys were not just stuffing and fiber, but something real. But really, I think it had more to do with not wanting to ignore something that I had given a piece of myself to.

So, in a round about way, all this is to say, I miss my blog. And I just got a glimpse of it, crumpled in the corner under the weight of work and facebook and wedding planning (oh yeah, did I mention I got engaged?) and this post is an effort to gently pick it up out of the toy bin, pet its head a few times, maybe even whisper an apology if I think no one is looking, and place it gently on the top of the stack, even though that means something else will now be slightly disfigured at the bottom.