Le Sigh

I watch TV. Not a lot of TV, but the tube is on every once in a while. Right now I am watching the Seasonique birth control commercial where the "logical side" of the brain wears a sweater vest and the "emotional side" of the brain (because as we know, women can't possibly use emotion and logic at the same time. We just aren't smart enough, and it will make our uterus explode...) wears long dangly necklaces. The "logical side" of the brain nods pensively as she researches the benefits of Seasonique on her computer while the "emotional side" slumps in a chair waiting for the logical one to finish the research so she can hurry up and take the damn pill and then go sleep with the quarterback of the football team. Once the "logical side" gives her approval, the "emotional side" of the brain commences dancing spastically to the music in her head. Thanks, Seasonique, for understanding me.

There is a gum commercial out now that I can not hardly even bring myself to access the memory of in order to write about, but I will do my best. A presumably thirsty lady walks up to a male coworker who is chewing the advertised gum. The man is sitting by a water cooler, and instead of consuming some of the refreshingly clean bottled water to quench her thirst, she instead somehow breaks the guys nose and thus activates a saliva-drinking system inside his mouth. So the lady leans over and appears to start to kiss the guy, but due to the repulsively accurate gurgling sounds, you learn that the lady is actually DRINKING the contents of the mans mouth.
I can not even properly express my revulsion at the thought of drinking hot bubbly gum spit. Especially if you are not even the sole proprietor of such bile. Yar.

AT&T needs to get their marketing act together and stop acting like their own patented "Rollover Minutes" are the equivalent of sporting a mullet. The commercials show a family sitting around the breakfast table, and the bitchy wife finds that the punky son "threw away" his rollover minutes, and then a later commercial shows the husband throwing the minutes away too (because he sloppily spills milk on them). In both commercials the bitchy wife has to nag the men to use the rollover minutes because they are exactly the same as the current months minutes, while the men argue that the rollover minutes are not cool and they shouldn't have to use them. Were none of the marketing execs at AT&T ever teenagers? Do they not realize that having your mom yell at you to use something outdated might not really put you first in line to follow those orders? Why are they trying to inspire animosity toward their product?

There are others, many others. Like the Bounty commercials that shows a grown man "cleaning" the spaghetti sauce pot with a single sheet of paper towel while his wife smiles and playfully rolls her eyes in the background and the commentator says that she should have known she would have to go back and clean up after him. People, seriously. Why should society (or Bounty, I guess) perpetuate the myth that a man becomes a really tall monkey when presented with house work? THERE IS NO REASON WHY A MAN CAN'T PROPERLY CLEAN A DISH ON HIS OWN! Why does the wife have to go back and clean up after the man?!? Where was the man educated and why does he think that a single paper towel can clean a whole pot?!? Why can't she send the man back to clean the dish!?! Pant, pant, pant...