I'm Melting

Good news! I "calmly alerted" my apartment management that I was experiencing a "moderate pest issue" and they sent in exterminators to spray my place the following Friday. Naturally, I made a mental note to have everything neat and tidy for my Friday saviours, and planned as such so that the exterminators, whose esteem I clearly desire, would know that I was just the unfortunate victim in this insect tragedy, not the cause of such. Unfortunately, while they told me the exterminators would be in on Friday, they actually came on Wednesday, and I was quite unprepared for guests. Luckily, I was not at home typing in my underwear...ahem...not that I do that anyway, I'm always properly dressed when working...but unluckily I was about 12 hours away from doing dishes. Which means that the kitchen could best have been described as unseemly. When I got home on Wednesday evening I saw a note from said exterminators cautioning me not to leave out dirty dishes, as they attract bugs. But...but...but...I'm a clean person!....they weren't supposed to come until Friday!....I would have had everything nice and tidy on Friday!...I've been framed! I definitely wasn't prepared for the Wednesday visit, and I have half a mind to invite those exterminators back over to show them that I am clean and keep a tidy apartment, and the roaches aren't my fault. I can feel their judging eyes on me even to this day. It haunts me.

The note from the exterminators also cautioned not to spray any insecticide in my apartment as it may interfere with the effectiveness of their spray....uh....considering I practically set up a Raid bomb in my apartment nary but 2 weeks ago, that may be a problem.

I think bugs are just attracted to me no matter how much Raid I spray. Yesterday when I finally got home after a long day I noticed an itch at my scalp. When I went to scratch, a freaking ladybug flew out of my hair. Ok, fine, it wasn't a ladybug...it was one of those stink bugs that look like brown ladybugs...but definitely not as bad as a roach in my bathtub. I let the "ladybug" live and it is now just hanging out on my wall. No reason to smash a stinkb...er...ladybug in my apartment.

Summer has brought all of its sweaty, uncomfortable friends to my neighborhood for a block party way too early this year. The last couple days have been in the low 90's and today its supposed to be 89. Which means my apartment is hot. Sauna hot. I should charge myself to sit here. My bananas are ripening at a ridiculous rate and I no longer have to bother with boiling water to make tea. Also, my skin is melting off. Yet I REFUSE to turn on the air conditioner. In April. Even though, according to my mom, this qualifies me for early entry into the old lady club. I'm ok with that. Even though I realize that it would probably only increase my electric bill by about $20, I abstain on principle alone, even if that means sweating to death buck naked in my insect infested apartment with the dirty dishes.

Psych. I have no scruples. I turned the air on halfway through the post.