Family Sitcom

Wow. It's been so long since my last post that the internets didn't even remember the website. I had to type the whole thing in the address bar. Ah, I shall be faint with fatigue if I have to keep up such difficulties.

My parents came to visit last weekend and we had a great time. I'll post more on that later (at a time when there is no reasonable expectation that I am doing actual work instead of blogging...heh) and it took nary but 30 minutes time to realize that I should be chronicling all the weird things my dad said during his brief stay. I think I whipped out the paper and pen while we were still just driving back from the airport. The highlights are as follows. Pay close attention, you TOO may be old and weird one day, and you'll want to reuse some of these.

ME (on the phone making a work appointment): Thank you (name), I'll see you at (time, place).
-just barely hangs up phone in time-
DAD: Are you sure you're not a prostitute?

SCENE: Sitting at an outdoor restaurant with mom, dad, me, facing a fancy entrance to a very well marked building.
DAD (motioning to the building with very clear signage): Have you ever eaten at that restaurant?
ME: That's a food court, dad.
- to be clear, the sign on the building said "FOOD COURT"-
DAD: Oh.

SCENE: At the bar of a nice upscale restaurant, having a drink while we wait on an open table.
BARTENDER (to dad): And what can I get for you, sir?
DAD, loudly: Do you have any blackberry wine?
-Dad is referring to cheap flavored wine, along the lines of Boons Farm or Arbor Mist.
BARTENDER, clearly confused: Uh, no sir. I believe all of our wine is made from grapes. Do you like...grape...flavored wine?
DAD: No, huh-uh.

Scene.