Where Do I Apply

A certain Texan friend who knows me well recently suggested I look into professional "adult romance" fiction (aka porn lite) writing to obtain the obscene salary and personal job satisfaction that I so longingly desire and have no prospects of achieving in my current line of work. Being a novice in the field myself, I wonder how to go about exploring this new career opportunity. Naturally, I like to write, so right away I have a head start. I'll check that off the list. I wonder if there are any sort of formal internship programs already set up, and what the application process for such a program would entail. Would field research be required, and if so could this be merely observational or is it best to get hands on experience? Would I have access to cross vocational training? What about opportunities for advancement? I think I would be ok writing novellas or short scripts, but venturing into full length smut creation seems intimidating. I have a hard time committing to an email font, let alone entire themes of ill repute! Perhaps if I can get a foot in the door I'll be able to work my way up the corporate ladder. You know, I'll bet the adult fiction industry has a whole different set of professional jargon that I'm not even aware of, as our culture is so proficient with the double entendre. I wonder what analogous item a professional is expected to climb when dealing with this facet of the entertainment industry? Surely not a ladder. I have much to learn.

Wanted: tall, muscular Eastern European equestrians from medieval times or sooner for field research on an upcoming novella. Long flowing hair preferred, though all types are welcome to apply. Indicate on your application if you have any previous experience rescuing or seducing distressed and/or repressed damsels, or if you have any allergies or sensitivities to sand, hay, grass, musty air, dark alleys, or heavy breathing as prolonged exposure to these items is necessary to fulfill terms of employment. Applicant must be able to gaze longingly and/or with burring desire for at least 30 minutes at a time. EEO employer.

Good thing I rarely follow through with most of my bright ideas, huh mom. She would be so proud.